Hi there! I felt the need to highlight something that I glossed over / overlooked when I was writing my ReNewal (3) blog post. I was on my run this morning and doing as I do, I either reflect on the past, look forward to the future, and also enjoy the moment I am in (particularly breathing, Love It). So, I was reflecting on my 2013 “Awakening” / Shifting year and feeling the gratitude that encompasses it all. But I remembered a Crucial Key that I just breezed right over in that aforementioned blog post. There was something else in the background at that time and dawned on me this morning. I wrote how I was comfortable with the idea of giving up the “dream job” being a general’s aide in order to assist my incoming boss who was panicking that I was leaving, and he would be left to fend alone. There WAS something else. My Soul Sister was deployed to Afghanistan beginning the summer of 2012. It was strange being on the other end of sending letters and care packages as opposed to receiving them whilst downrange. She was always in the forefront of my mind in wishing her well, praying for her safe return. She was coming back at the end of July 2013 and was going to be on leave for quite a while. She had this amazing week planned where we would meet up in Las Vegas and really paint the town. There was one small problem with this plan though. When I got the job as the general’s aide, I would NOT be going on the dream vacation / reunion with my sister. I would be at a general’s beck and call. I knew she would be incredibly disappointed and so would have I, even double so as I am on the more empathic side picking up her disappointment on top of my own. Law of Attraction-wise…I know that deep deep down I would have wanted to see her again after being separated for more than a year rather than getting that dream job that I knew was mine. In the blog, ReNewal (3), I got the word that I didn’t get the position, felt the relief wash over me and an eagerness to Get to Work for my new boss………and put in my leave papers to go to Las Vegas to be with my sister. On the run this morning, I realized what my Heart truly wanted to do. Be together again with my best friend and see her with my own eyes knowing that she was back home. Safe and sound. She truly was the Crucial Key to get me to my REAL dream job in San Antonio later that year. Amazing!
The humor I mentioned much earlier…Well…It’s funny. A year ago, in May (2013 as this retreat was in 2014), I was on the early morning run, somewhere between 0430-0500, running down Flower Mound Rd in Lawton, OK when all of the sudden the Voice in my head said, “STOP.” I did. “Turn around.” I did. “Look up.” I did and saw the vastness of space, and the stars and…what the…? A star flashed brightly. Perplexed I started to turn around, but I looked again, FLASH <again!>. Incredible. I was astonished but felt good, safe. I was about to start running but had this thought. I have some kind of star map app on my phone. Held it up and gave the star that flashed a name. Alderamin. Never heard of it. Anyway, this all doesn’t sound all that funny but a couple weeks later, about the same time of the morning, different road, the Voice said, “STOP, look up…” I’m like, OK? I see stars! That’s it? When all of the sudden over my headphones I hear, “CAPTAIN, INCOMING MESSAGE!” (Mr. Worf from Star Trek, incoming text/email sound byte). And then what I felt/heard…Laughter. Like someone was playing a cosmic prank on me! Funny. (There is a lot of them but just hitting a couple of the biggies) A few months later at my friend/soul sister’s apartment just after the whole Beth Episode (maybe some other day) and was walking from her bathroom back to the living room (barefoot), thinking about Beth, a strange quirky smile and this indescribable FEELING and…SPLAT. Walked right onto Sushi or Snoopy’s dog poo. Heard the Laughter again. There IS this playful sense of humor in the Universe which has fun with us all the time and when you are tuned in, you can laugh too 😀
There is never goodbye. Just till the next moment. My Moment at Canyon Lake is moving into the next moment. It was Quiet. It was Fun. I Am Here to Have Fun. BUT. I am also here to Help. A kind word here and there. Ernest advice. An ear to Listen. A Smile…Infinitely
An Experience. To what end? The Spiritual Being of Love and Light manifested into physical form. Why would such a Being do this? Can you even fathom what it would be like to be pure Energy, pure Love? All the other individualizations of the One all experiencing the same. Enter the physical realm. Be “Born”. Live. Experience. Grow/Expand. Find yourSelf. Fall back into Love. Well. I guess to put it mildly, I am more referring to Me here, but not everyone wants to have the same experience. Some feel MORE by the suffering incurred upon them, which makes them appreciate the Love/Light they are even more. And then there’s Me. I did suffer. Mostly self-induced in retrospect. It seemed like I was always one step away from my Awakening. Something would always “happen” though. Some tragedy or travesty, some “whatever” that would send me back down the levels of consciousness. I finally got through to the physical vessel which carries Me. We are Spirit of The One Source and we will continue on in this Eternal Moment when the physical is no more.
It is a liberating feeling in knowing that Time does not exist. Well. It does and it doesn’t. The human mind created it. A need to measure duration. Beginnings & Endings. So in that sense “Time” is real. We are creators in the exact likeness of God. That being said, I know that Time is not real. It’s a Feeling. The Feeling that all there is IS this Moment. An Eternal Moment without end and which never began. Paradoxical, I know. Contradictory, sure. A Gut Feeling, you bet. Everything in the past is gone and yet kept alive as much as we want in our own minds. The future is a series of moments that we haven’t reached yet. Forever is Eternally Now. The Moment that never ends, the Moment that never begins. The Moment that just always IS.
I just had no idea. No clue. What is/was love? I never truly knew until I fell in Love with mySelf. It’s the Greatest Love in this physical reality. “You’re OK.” “I kind of like you.” “You’re cool…I guess.” Those are the kind of things I would think or feel. After the Shift, something dawned on me. I Loved Me. It’s this love that gave me the strength to let my girlfriend, Eiris, go. I do LOVE her. I came to realize it was different though. It wasn’t fair to her or myself to keep the relationship going (her in Germany and me back stateside). It wasn’t in my mind at the time, almost a year ago, but it began to take shape and form recently. “She” is out there. She is looking for me as well. Well. I guess “looking” kind of doesn’t describe “it”. Waiting. A Waiting. Waiting for that moment when we are in alignment. When that moment comes, we will be walking next to each other all of the sudden and realize we have always been walking next to each other. When? Good question. Whenever the moment of alignment occurs. A day? Maybe a couple months. 10yrs. Who knows with these things…
It is a direction our Sun is taking us through this Galaxy. We’ve made this trip before. Well. Not us personally. Personally, we see ourselves traveling around the Sun 365 days a year. The Sun is a Traveler as well and we are along for the ride. It actually has something to do with how I “woke up” as if in a deep sleep. And the Sun continues on a course it knows so well and yet unchartered waters for our 3D forms (Body/Mind). The Spirit aspect already KNOWS and continues its waiting for The Next Moment. What is “this” Eternity we are heading toward? I do not know anything specific whatsoever. A Feeling. We are heading into Something Wonderful. The closer we get, the stronger I feel. There has been the New Feeling as of late. Thanks to the Universe directing me back to Christian D. Larson, I rediscovered Poise and Power and finally read the book after owning it for almost a year. I seemed to be content with listening to the first four chapters on youtube. Finally. I was ready. This incredible strength that had been growing and growing, combined with the Peace that was re-experienced a year ago was developing and molding into this This Poise. I had a name for it now. Poise. But even now as I am giving consideration to this word, I know it is changing and Growing into More. Whatever the “more” is, I’m not sure there is an earthly/human word to describe It. Maybe that is why I am here. Maybe that was why the Voice told me to begin writing this story. I am heading into Eternity. Eternity is Now. Forever.
The Canyon Lake Retreat – The Mind
Our “intellect” is what it is. So bio/socio it is. We think therefore We Are. So why not think the Best of Thought. I always knew I was so much more. The Voice in the back of my head nudging me forward…and the “Mind” holding me back. Fears and doubts…make for cloudy skies. We are so so so easily trained. TV does it daily with the Majority (programs/programming). I looked back 20yrs ago and found a distinct period where I was so easily trained. I Am a Marine. They are the best of the US military branches in that Mental aspect of shaping/growing Marines. Why couldn’t I do that to myself? To think only good and wholesome thoughts. As with the Body, I needed to establish a foundation. For me it was The Optimist Creed by Christian d. Larson from the book, Your Forces and How to Use Them. A daily repetition (three times a day to begin with for a couple of months) of these words had a profound effect on my Mental Conditioning. I had already (several years ago) removed TV but next removed reading news, social media outlets. Anything that had the potentiality to produce negative thought. Gone. All that remains (and Grows) is all that is Good. A year later and I decided to build (more). Lumosity. Brain games. Still a work in progress as we continue to lay stronger and yet STRONGER Foundations.
Thinking without Feeling. Feeling without Thinking. Letting. Allowing. Being. And without further drama, plus the effects, we Move On and Up.
Here it is. My getaway four-day weekend at Canyon Lake while I was stationed in San Antonio almost five years ago now. I had this journal, The Wave, that I had gotten months prior but only used to capture either strange dreams or odd events that transpired around me. Finally, I had a chance to put it to some real good use. A Retreat for Me and to allow words just flow into me without much thought. Reflect on my feelings of the past year in a variety of topics that came to me when they came to me. It’s pretty private and I had never intended to share, BUT after this week everything has shifted into a new gear. Fourteen sections beginning with today’s section.
The Deep Faith
A Heading into Eternity
Forever Now – Time
The Heart Grows Fonder
Captain, Incoming Message
A Story (with Brevity in Mind)
There is no beginning and no end. Hell of a way to start a story. It’s just a Way. My Way. I didn’t intend to write anything. You know how that “Voice” goes though. If you surrendered, then you Always Listen.
The body is Amazing. Trillions of components (actually infinite) all making the whole. It’s the vehicle that makes this physical dimension possible. The body is the key to developing the other aspects of Self. (Spirit/Mind) There are these tremendously appropriate sayings we’ve always heard. You are what you eat. Garbage in Garbage out. So true. I like to think of it as Respect. Do you respect yourSelf. Do you? How can the body even begin to have a chance being in a State of Joy. A statement. Not questioning. Each and every cell, every atom needs nourishment of substance in order to Thrive. This was the Beginning (but not really) for me. It can start anywhere. Mind/Body/Spirit. The goal of which is Harmony. All working together separately and as One. A plan needs to be established for the daily sustenance which enriches the Body. What is, where is this Plan? It is communicated through the Spirit and Intellect. It develops and Grows, and…It is for You. The important thing is to BEGIN to lay a FOUNDATION. Make it SOLID. Continue to Build. Never stop going Up.
Continuing in my second command in San Antonio, I received word that I made the list for major (something I definitely wanted). Also, a few months later, I found out that I was selected to be a resident at the Command General Staff College (CGSC) at Fort Leavenworth, Kansas (also known as ILE, Intermediate Level Education for “majors”). That was superb news. They only take about 50% of the promotables to attend there on the campus. The other half would have to take the online courses AND do their day job. I knew what I wanted way before that time came up and focused on being a resident. Living a higher vibrational frequency allowed me to manifest that goal easily. When I finally arrived there in July 2015, something dawned on me. I do not like school! Never have. It wasn’t until my shift in consciousness year of 2013 that I found I was more of a natural empath. Looking back on my life, especially adolescence, teen years spent in school made so much sense. I never felt like ME. I was too much of everyone else. I was the chameleon in school. Fit in everywhere with everyone yet belonged no where to anyone. That’s a rabbit hole I won’t go down right now. The point being is that I was going to be stuck for one year in “class” again with 15 of my peers. I never missed one day, unlike my childhood, however, it was very taxing on me. I really had to keep myself centered and grounded. Every morning before class I sat in my car for 5-10min and focused on a grounding meditation. The year passed by and I survived. Nothing substantial of note this year aside from kind of closing down my normal shining light which read, OPEN FOR BUSINESS. The thing that made me chuckle though when I first arrived at the campus was the huge statue/sculpture out front of the main building. A giant magic lamp, like as in Aladdin. I thought to the Universe, “You’re wish is my command…”
I was afforded an opportunity to pick where to go next. Well. Sort of. Two choices. I could go to Kuwait or I could go to South Korea. I did not hesitate to pick South Korea as I already had done the desert deal a couple times before (involuntarily). I was going to be a part of the Transformation Cell at Camp Humphreys for the garrison there. July 2016 through July 2017. Eventually that morphed into me working for the Department of Plans, Training, Mobilization, and Security, also known as DPTMS. DPTMS is a kind of like Operations for a garrison but to a greater extent. A year passed there with again nothing significant, aside from a psychopath detonating a nuclear weapon 300 miles away. Plus, I was not to keen on the idea of my President sending out scathing insults to the North Korean leader via Twitter. That was kind of nuts. It also helped cement the idea that when I came back home, I would make plans to retire.
I was so fortunate to have a branch, Field Artillery, that was willing to work with me on my retirement to such an extent that they gave me the opportunity to pick where I wanted to go. I had one condition though. I could not “NOT” retire. I told him I was planning on retiring on Texas and he suggested Fort Hood. He read my mind. Exactly where I wanted to retire and had a considerable reputation on helping pave the road for future retirees. They also ensured I was able to get another specialty job…DPTMS once again. So fortunate, so blessed to work with the individuals there. Most of whom were retired military and were now DACs (Department of the Army Civilians). I received so much guidance and advice that there was no way my retirement path would not go exactly how I wanted it to. It did. And then some. I had mentioned to some of them that I always felt a little bittersweet about being promoted to major. I was no longer Captain America! There was no such thing as Major America! I was wrong. Apparently, there is now with a giant framed picture they gave me. I couldn’t believe my eyes. Blown away with gratitude.
My official retirement date occurred 1 August but with the leave time that I had accrued, I was out of the Army by mid-June. The year of July 2017 through June 2018 I continued what I had started in 2013. Starting every morning with Gratitude, prayer, affirmations, followed by meditation. By holding myself in a continuous state of Positivity, I was able to ensure that I would retire with grace and ease.
Eight months later (where did the time go?), I find myself on Day 4 (today, 23 Feb 19) of my Hay House Mystical Connections Summit, and…and…well, hmmm, I guess you could say I am On Fire. From past lives, to creating your dream life, to connect with your guides, tuning in to your guardian angel, to enhancing intuition……..On Fire. I have looked at, delved into, skimmed but never really really conducted a Deep Dive in what will be about 28 topics when I am through. In doing so, today, I can say, “Breakthrough”. Mainly with my mind and meditation. I changed the way I meditated 2/3s of the way through my morning meditation and, well it’s hard to explain, but “Ka-Blam”. Afterwards, it reminded me of when I was a child. Terrified of the water, couldn’t swim, but one day, around age 10, I started to doggy paddle somehow. It was exciting. My mom signed me up for swim lessons and I was hooked. Swimming became easy. Effortless. Now I feel like, Wow. It’s like I am actually exercising my brain in a focused controlled state. It’s incredible. In the past, I would normally close my eyes focus on breathing, try and stay as blank as possible OR mantras of Oms or my favorite, the 7min Chakra Tune-up on YouTube. This is different now. Like I walked through a new door of Light.
Anyway, apologies, as this went on longer than I would have liked. However, during my sessions though, I was guided to eventually share a collection of thoughts I captured on a four day retreat I took back in April 2014 at Canyon Lake in Texas. I just “got away” from it all. Just over a year after my Shift, I needed time to reflect on that past year and capture my thoughts down in a journal out in nature. Those thoughts brought to you via a WordPress site in the near future.
I’m there. I’m in San Antonio and in my second command for get this: Pre-Basic Training Soldiers at the Defense Language Institute English Language Center at Lackland Air Force Base. These kids have not been to basic training yet. Not until they enhance their English speaking skills at this school that is primarily for foreign military officers and senior noncommissioned officers before they train at US military training schools (kind of like a foreign exchange program in the military). This specific command was not something that Fort Sill generally has any control over. The brigade commander at Fort Sill has “some” oversight in an administrative capacity, but the positions for the company commander, company First Sergeant, and XO (generally a 1ST LT) are filled by Headquarters Department of the Army. However, the leadership was in trouble down there and the basic training brigade commander wanted to put a by-name recommendation in to have one of his people there. Me. And there I was. As quickly as I had ended up on staff at Fort Sill coming out of battery command, was very similar to how quickly I ended up out of that staff job and into command once again. Back again working with Drill Sergeants. Yes! Anyway, one weekend a month after I had arrived, I decided to watch this YouTube video interview/documentary on Abraham Hicks (Jerry and Esther Hicks). Somewhere about 30min into the interview they start talking about how they had packed up and moved to San Antonio…I was like, No Way. I hit pause and did a quick google search. Found their website and I was like, you know they always go around the country and do these Law of Attraction seminar workshops…what are the odds that they would ever do that in San Antonio? Odds are GREAT. There was one coming up in three months. I felt like something was coming over me. I started going on autopilot. Rapid instructions were flooding my mind. Do this, do that, do this……I immediately purchased a ticket to the event, next I found out it was being held at some convention room at some hotel. I went to my expedia, found the hotel, and booked a room there for one night, the night before the event. I was backwards planning how everything was going to happen. I would get there early Friday, have a nice dinner, go to bed early and wake up to go to the hotel fitness room. Run 3mi and do some light lifting. Shower, fuel the body, check out of hotel, and head to the convention room. Anyway, I came out of the trance or whatever I was in. Felt a little bit flushed and then a “what the hell did I just do?” feeling came over me. I was like, what the heck man! You LIVE in San Antonio why would you bother getting a hotel for a place that is no doubt just down the road! So here I am laughing at myself and go on google maps. I find the hotel and see it is in northern San Antonio where I am more on the west side…18mi away. I’m like, huh, looks like that is the fancy pants part of SA. I start to zoom in on the area and then as I start zooming closer and the area is beginning to enlarge, I’m like…Holy Crap Batman. La Cantera??? It came back to me. Impossible. The very same hotel that Carrie and I stayed in 10yrs earlier. Now, full circle, and stationed in SA…just how I imagined at this very same hotel. If there was any doubt about the Law of Attraction in my mind it completely dissipated in that moment. Amazing.