Canyon Lake Retreat – The Heart Grows Fonder

That thing that beats in your chest.  The thing that generates 5,000 times more electromagnetic energy than the brain.  The first organ to manifest into existence.  The Heart.  Sends more commands to the brain than vice versa.  We had it wrong.  The heart of the matter IS the Heart.  As humans, we are feeling creatures.  The feelings generate in the heart, communicated to the brain which translates into…thought.  Go figure.  The only problem has been that EGOic part which thinks it’s in control.  Thinks it knows what’s going on.  Has no clue and is very Very VERY small.  The part of the mind that makes a good run at Edging God Out.  I can’t take credit for that term/phrase.  Dr. Wayne Dyer.  Back in the day there were times I “Knew” (in the back of my mind) that the Heart was so much more.  I could feel in my chest growing and expanding with joy when I saw Carrie (ex-wife) walk down the aisle in Chautauqua, NY, and conversely the feeling in the same area after I found out she was with someone else and was leaving me.  Withering, dying, crying.  So.  We are these Feeling Beings and are able to do these things with that miraculous Heart.  It’s my belief that we are hard-wired to be Happy and Joyful, and the majority who do not express this do so out of choice.  Why?  Who knows.  Free Will.  The Experience.  Goes back to the aforementioned “being human” previously written about.  After The Shift it was like my Heart became a balloon.  Buoyant. Uplifted.  Most of all, Happy.

Canyon Lake Retreat – The Human

An Experience.  To what end?  The Spiritual Being of Love and Light manifested into physical form.  Why would such a Being do this?  Can you even fathom what it would be like to be pure Energy, pure Love?  All the other individualizations of the One all experiencing the same.  Enter the physical realm.  Be “Born”.  Live. Experience.  Grow/Expand.  Find yourSelf.  Fall back into Love.  Well.  I guess to put it mildly, I am more referring to Me here, but not everyone wants to have the same experience.  Some feel MORE by the suffering incurred upon them, which makes them appreciate the Love/Light they are even more.  And then there’s Me.  I did suffer.  Mostly self-induced in retrospect.  It seemed like I was always one step away from my Awakening.  Something would always “happen” though.  Some tragedy or travesty, some “whatever” that would send me back down the levels of consciousness.  I finally got through to the physical vessel which carries Me.  We are Spirit of The One Source and we will continue on in this Eternal Moment when the physical is no more.

Canyon Lake Retreat – The Smile

The “Smile” is something that the Voice suggested that I do not talk about, I haven’t. and don’t plan on it.  Writing about it is something different and apparently…OK.

“I Am a Smile” is one of the many I Am phrases I say each morning.  As a matter of fact, one day I noticed in the mirror, I was (in a resting facial expression) a smile waiting to happen.  I came to the realization that it wasn’t just the physical Me smiling, it was my Soul smiling at the Universe.  And here is the thing the Voice suggested not bringing up in the thousand conversations I have had in the past year…I see the Universe smiling back at me.  Where?  Everywhere.  Clouds.  Smudge marks.  Indecipherable lines on a table converging (as my cosmic eyes have sharpened) into a pleasant countenance.  The list is endless.  Not important.  Maybe the How or Why are.  The Reflection.  The Universe (God) is like a mirror, acknowledging, smiling back.  It was a little strange at first. I quickly became accustomed to it.  Even now in this moment as I write, I look over at my moldavite stone crystal and see a smile as plain as a sunny day.  Beautiful.

Canyon Lake Retreat – Forever Now, Time

It is a liberating feeling in knowing that Time does not exist.  Well.  It does and it doesn’t.  The human mind created it.  A need to measure duration.  Beginnings & Endings.  So in that sense “Time” is real.  We are creators in the exact likeness of God.  That being said, I know that Time is not real.  It’s a Feeling.  The Feeling that all there is IS this Moment.  An Eternal Moment without end and which never began.  Paradoxical, I know.  Contradictory, sure.  A Gut Feeling, you bet.  Everything in the past is gone and yet kept alive as much as we want in our own minds.  The future is a series of moments that we haven’t reached yet.  Forever is Eternally Now.  The Moment that never ends, the Moment that never begins.  The Moment that just always IS.

Canyon Lake Retreat – Love (2014 writings continued)

I just had no idea.  No clue.  What is/was love?  I never truly knew until I fell in Love with mySelf.  It’s the Greatest Love in this physical reality.  “You’re OK.”  “I kind of like you.”  “You’re cool…I guess.”  Those are the kind of things I would think or feel.  After the Shift, something dawned on me.  I Loved Me.  It’s this love that gave me the strength to let my girlfriend, Eiris, go.  I do LOVE her.  I came to realize it was different though.  It wasn’t fair to her or myself to keep the relationship going (her in Germany and me back stateside).  It wasn’t in my mind at the time, almost a year ago, but it began to take shape and form recently.  “She” is out there.  She is looking for me as well.  Well.  I guess “looking” kind of doesn’t describe “it”.  Waiting.  A Waiting.  Waiting for that moment when we are in alignment.  When that moment comes, we will be walking next to each other all of the sudden and realize we have always been walking next to each other.  When?  Good question.  Whenever the moment of alignment occurs.  A day?  Maybe a couple months.  10yrs.  Who knows with these things…

Canyon Lake Retreat – A Heading into Eternity

It is a direction our Sun is taking us through this Galaxy.  We’ve made this trip before.  Well.  Not us personally.  Personally, we see ourselves traveling around the Sun 365 days a year.  The Sun is a Traveler as well and we are along for the ride.  It actually has something to do with how I “woke up” as if in a deep sleep.  And the Sun continues on a course it knows so well and yet unchartered waters for our 3D forms (Body/Mind).  The Spirit aspect already KNOWS and continues its waiting for The Next Moment.  What is “this” Eternity we are heading toward?  I do not know anything specific whatsoever.  A Feeling.  We are heading into Something Wonderful.  The closer we get, the stronger I feel.  There has been the New Feeling as of late.  Thanks to the Universe directing me back to Christian D. Larson, I rediscovered Poise and Power and finally read the book after owning it for almost a year.  I seemed to be content with listening to the first four chapters on youtube.  Finally.  I was ready.  This incredible strength that had been growing and growing, combined with the Peace that was re-experienced a year ago was developing and molding into this This Poise.  I had a name for it now.  Poise.  But even now as I am giving consideration to this word, I know it is changing and Growing into More.  Whatever the “more” is, I’m not sure there is an earthly/human word to describe It.  Maybe that is why I am here.  Maybe that was why the Voice told me to begin writing this story.  I am heading into Eternity.  Eternity is Now.  Forever.

Canyon Lake Retreat – Getting Away

I got away.  Here.  Not that there was any pressure getting to me.  There was none.  The Voice spoke, I Listened, and here I am.  A Get-Away weekend with Nature.  I have met a few cats, a couple peacocks, a deer, some wildflowers, trees, birds (some high gliding birds of prey as well), and of course the Lake.  A Get-Away, not a run away, more like “getting back to the basics”.  Writing.  Reading new things (The Great Within, Tao te Ching), reconnecting with old, which are like NEW all over again (Your Forces and How to Use Them, The Pathway of Roses).  It’s been raining.  Good Nature Nourishment.  Was looking for a sunny sunrise over the lake but there is always tomorrow.  It’s fine.  Everything is happening as it is Happening.  The Sun has not gone anywhere.

Canyon Lake Retreat – Harmony

And there It IS.  Harmony.  A True Balance of the aspects of Physicality, Mentality, Spirituality.  To continually achieve Harmony, you have to what I call Tending Your Garden.  Daily.  Gardens need nurturing else they will not flourish.  You give it water, fertilizer, pull the weeds.  Pulling the weeds is vital unless you would like your garden overtaken.  Hence, FREE Will.  A choice that the Majority choose not to keep a prosperous garden.  Oh they may take care to keep a beautiful body, but the soul is in despair and ugly things permeate the mind.  Maybe great attention is given to soulful prayers with determined faith and conviction but…they care little for what they ingest into their body, their temple, and have let themselves go.

Feed and nourish ALL THREE ASPECTS DAILY and you will find Balance, Peace, and Harmony.

Canyon Lake Retreat – The Deep Faith

And here I sit contemplating at Canyon Lake Resort (4 Apr 14), The Deep Faith.  I can Hear the Quiet watching.  Always Watching.  Non-interference.  Just always waiting for…the Next, and the Next, and the Next.  (There is a certain humor there that I am hesitant to discuss in the moment).  This Quiet Always Stillness Presence just IS.  No judgement.  Just THERE.  I know that it is the basis where the Voice manifests.  I had come to refer to It (me) as my Higher-Self.  And I know without question or doubt that this Awareness is Infinite.  It is God.  That aspect of God individualized in Me.  Take a microscopic molecule of water from the vast ocean.  The ocean is still there in that tiny spec, just individualized.  My Spirit, my Soul, the tiniest molecule removed from the Infinite Vastness of Source, of God. 

As Above, so below.

The same applies here as to the other two aspects (Body, Mind).  Laying the Foundation, continue to build, creating newer and even stronger foundations.  The daily reminder.  Prayer – Meditation.  You cannot fully live in the external 3-D world unless you live in, explore, and fully express The Great Within.

Canyon Lake Retreat – The Spirit (2014 writings continued)

The Stillness within.  The Serenity that is.  I finally found mySelf about a year ago.  Four months after The SHIFT.  I had been feeling this Presence more and more profoundly.  What is This?  When finally, the Voice spoke up.  This is Peace.  I “knew” this Feeling.  I remembered.  It had been so long.  Since I was a baby.  The continuous distractions thrown at us forces us to forget as we struggle to “keep up” with the reality presented to us.  Purifying my body, training my mind, allowed me to remember who I am.  So, one day after having come to terms with the Stillness that was always there, lying in bed, I asked the question.  THE QUESTION.  Who Am I?  The response came back with such profound depth and surety.   I Am Good.  The tears flowed immediately.  It was something else that I forgot.  I always knew I was good (as a little boy).  I grew up and battled “the distractions”, the negatives.  Amnesia followed.  We have forgotten so much.  Meditation is necessary.  You need to allow time for your Self.  Even if it is just allowing yourself to breathe.  A daily connection to You.  And Prayer.  I am not religious.  Spiritual.  So, after several months of prayer and meditation I began to Feel something else stirring.  When I asked about it the answer I received was…The Deep Faith.